I recently tried to get into DF.
I downloaded the lazynewb pack and tried for hours to get it to run at a proper resolution.
The window would never size to what I had set it in the config editor as included with the pack or with manual editing.
Looking at the list of what's included with lazynewb, I really don't see much in there that I'd expect to reduce the difficulty for a new player. Plenty of utilities and such for making the interface easier to understand, but the gameplay mechanics are untouched. I'd say you're far better off with a good tutorial (even better, someone who can help you in person).
I had a similar experience the first time I tried it. It was unplayably slow, but now I can get a solid framerate. Check back in a few months, the DF guys seem to be making some progress in performance, etc and the next build might fix your issue.
I really wish I could have played that game.